I've been working on my book and have been quite absent from this blog. I've started a new blog to follow the journey of my writing. You can find me here: www.myworkmyjourney.typepad.com
The book is about what i've learned in my work as a therapist. I'm sharing stories and techniques and my own journey. I envision it being of interest to other therapists or anyone who is on the path of self discovery. Come visit me there!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I've decided I like the idea of "accepting" much better than "surrendering." I accept my feelings, put them out in front of me and keep going. My mind is such a funny thing at times. It is clever and manipulative and even cruel at times. I accept that. There's my mind spinning around again in illusion. I wonder why. Is there a feeling that is hard for me to accept? Whatever... I accept it.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Do you keep a journal?
Do you go deep in your writing?
Do you want to?
Do you use other forms of expression in your journal?
I love it when I can get out of my head, drop down and express from my heart. The most profound insights come in those moments. Often unexpected feelings arise and lead me to questions I hadn't even considered.
I love using a "list of 100" to take me there. I love using it with my clients. It never fails to amaze me. Their words spoken out loud become a poem of sorts... a soul writing that tells me who they are... deep within... the pure, authentic self that has wisdom to share.
I'm working on "Journaling to Self Discovery II" and this technique was the first I included. I can't wait to finish and share it!
Do you go deep in your writing?
Do you want to?
Do you use other forms of expression in your journal?
I love it when I can get out of my head, drop down and express from my heart. The most profound insights come in those moments. Often unexpected feelings arise and lead me to questions I hadn't even considered.
I love using a "list of 100" to take me there. I love using it with my clients. It never fails to amaze me. Their words spoken out loud become a poem of sorts... a soul writing that tells me who they are... deep within... the pure, authentic self that has wisdom to share.
I'm working on "Journaling to Self Discovery II" and this technique was the first I included. I can't wait to finish and share it!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Discoveries
- Unexpected things happen... when I ask.
- Trusting the process is an ever-evolving experience.
- Trusting the outcome is an ever-evolving experience.
- Detachment... always detachment
- It feels great to complete a project!
- Trusting the process is an ever-evolving experience.
- Trusting the outcome is an ever-evolving experience.
- Detachment... always detachment
- It feels great to complete a project!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Discoveries
- Self limiting beliefs suck!
- My self talk is very persuasive - if harnessed I can create anything, if it is allowed to run rampant I become frozen in fear/anger/indecision.
- Old beliefs can be challenged no matter how deeply entrenched they are in our psyches.
- I remembered that I believe in miracles!
- My self talk is very persuasive - if harnessed I can create anything, if it is allowed to run rampant I become frozen in fear/anger/indecision.
- Old beliefs can be challenged no matter how deeply entrenched they are in our psyches.
- I remembered that I believe in miracles!
Monday, February 1, 2010
The pursuit of perfection... or when life seems just too darn uncontrollable!
What would it be like if you didn't have to be perfect? How would your life be different if instead of constantly trying to control everything you could be vulnerable and feel whatever feelings washed over you? Scary right? Hard maybe? Liberating for sure!
I've spent a good portion of my life asking myself this question and helping others explore this question for themselves.
First of all we have to be willing to make mistakes and own them. I tell my clients that I make mistakes everyday. Oh, I just realized something… that may not instill the greatest confidence in me! Actually, more than that I hope it creates trust with those I work with and possibly the permission they need within themselves to be more authentic.
Second, we have to be willing to enter into life knowing that we may experience pain. If we can trust that we can live through sadness or disappointment or whatever difficult emotion we are trying to avoid then we can be totally present for joy or happiness or whatever delicious experience that we want more of.
Third… actually I can't think of a third thing right now. Maybe it will come to me later. I told you I'm not perfect!
Life is not a series of tasks to accomplish perfectly but opportunities to love more deeply, feel more completely and learn more passionately.
I've spent a good portion of my life asking myself this question and helping others explore this question for themselves.
First of all we have to be willing to make mistakes and own them. I tell my clients that I make mistakes everyday. Oh, I just realized something… that may not instill the greatest confidence in me! Actually, more than that I hope it creates trust with those I work with and possibly the permission they need within themselves to be more authentic.
Second, we have to be willing to enter into life knowing that we may experience pain. If we can trust that we can live through sadness or disappointment or whatever difficult emotion we are trying to avoid then we can be totally present for joy or happiness or whatever delicious experience that we want more of.
Third… actually I can't think of a third thing right now. Maybe it will come to me later. I told you I'm not perfect!
Life is not a series of tasks to accomplish perfectly but opportunities to love more deeply, feel more completely and learn more passionately.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Something to look forward to
What keeps me getting up early on dark, Monday mornings week after week?
Sometimes that's a hard question to answer. At other times its easy… Something to look forward to! I've learned to "trick" myself with little treats during the day, week, month or year. It can be as simple as a phone conversation with someone special or as complex as a trip to a fun theme park. I've discovered that I need something to look forward to daily… and usually it's not something that’s good for me like my workout at the gym or a healthy meal. What's up with that?
What will you look forward to everyday this week?
What will you plan as a special treat at the end of the week?
Is there something you can arrange in February that will nourish and refresh you?
What have you always wanted to do but have not had enough time/money/courage? (fill in the blank) Start planning it now!
Sometimes that's a hard question to answer. At other times its easy… Something to look forward to! I've learned to "trick" myself with little treats during the day, week, month or year. It can be as simple as a phone conversation with someone special or as complex as a trip to a fun theme park. I've discovered that I need something to look forward to daily… and usually it's not something that’s good for me like my workout at the gym or a healthy meal. What's up with that?
What will you look forward to everyday this week?
What will you plan as a special treat at the end of the week?
Is there something you can arrange in February that will nourish and refresh you?
What have you always wanted to do but have not had enough time/money/courage? (fill in the blank) Start planning it now!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Discoveries
I'm birthing a new tradition this week.... Discoveries.
I was telling a client recently that I learn things about myself everyday. I learn through my work, through my friends, through my mentors, through my clients, through my son, through my love, through my dreams and even through strangers.
I believe that learning helps us make different choices.
Here's what I discovered (or rediscovered) this week:
- I survived the week.
- Detachment is super important.
- When I take things personally my life is a lot harder.
- I'll survive next week.
- I'd rather thrive than survive next week.
- Shoveling snow is a good upper body work out!
- Assumptions suck!
What did you discover this week?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Dialogue with Your Inner Wisdom
I often tell my clients that all the answers to every question they may ever have reside within them. This belief informs my work. I believe there is a wise presence within each of us and is available in any moment for guidance and direction. I ask my clients to look to this “knowing” when they set an intention every day. I don’t believe that a resolution must occur only once a year. In fact I think that’s a recipe for failure. So, in creating an intention we have the opportunity to look at our choices every day. Each morning is a new beginning, every second an occasion to make a new choice. I recommend that my clients confer with the “wise self” when creating small intentions and larger ones. One technique that is very helpful in this process is written dialogue. The method involves a simple conversation back and forth with this deeper intelligence. I recommend a certain technique when you are new to this process.
- Use large sheets of unlined paper.
- Choose two markers of different colors.
- If you are right handed you speak from that hand. If you are left handed you speak from that hand. This is called your “dominant” hand and it takes on the voice of “me.”
- Your “non-dominant” hand will hold the second marker and will be the voice of inner knowing.
- With a marker in each hand write your dialogue.
A part of a typical dialogue might look like this:
Me – Hey, I’m having a hard time setting my intentions every day.
Inner Wisdom – Well, you have some other stuff to get off your mind first.
M – I do? What is that?
IW – Is your house “in order” so to speak?
M – What do you mean by that?
IW – It just seems that all the clutter in your office is distracting you. Why not clean up your office?
M – Hmmm… good point. I can’t sit down at my desk without thinking of all the things I need to do.
IW – Do just one task. Clean off your desk and see if that helps you focus on your daily goals.
Of course this is just one small part of what a larger dialogue might look like. If you can keep going through several pages of dialogue you may find yourself dropping out of a logical place and into a feeling place. This is often where the most interesting things may be discovered. In the above dialogue the writer may continue and find that she has some unresolved feelings. Her “Inner Wisdom” may tell her how to move through the blocks. In my work with my clients there is most always some insight that arises through the dialogue. Dialogues are good when you feel confused about a situation or when you need to go deeper into an issue or when you just want to emote. You can dialogue with emotions, an addiction, a person (either living or deceased), pain, a body part, your inner critic or any number of things. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. Allow yourself to be taken by the process and remain open to what may be revealed.
- Use large sheets of unlined paper.
- Choose two markers of different colors.
- If you are right handed you speak from that hand. If you are left handed you speak from that hand. This is called your “dominant” hand and it takes on the voice of “me.”
- Your “non-dominant” hand will hold the second marker and will be the voice of inner knowing.
- With a marker in each hand write your dialogue.
A part of a typical dialogue might look like this:
Me – Hey, I’m having a hard time setting my intentions every day.
Inner Wisdom – Well, you have some other stuff to get off your mind first.
M – I do? What is that?
IW – Is your house “in order” so to speak?
M – What do you mean by that?
IW – It just seems that all the clutter in your office is distracting you. Why not clean up your office?
M – Hmmm… good point. I can’t sit down at my desk without thinking of all the things I need to do.
IW – Do just one task. Clean off your desk and see if that helps you focus on your daily goals.
Of course this is just one small part of what a larger dialogue might look like. If you can keep going through several pages of dialogue you may find yourself dropping out of a logical place and into a feeling place. This is often where the most interesting things may be discovered. In the above dialogue the writer may continue and find that she has some unresolved feelings. Her “Inner Wisdom” may tell her how to move through the blocks. In my work with my clients there is most always some insight that arises through the dialogue. Dialogues are good when you feel confused about a situation or when you need to go deeper into an issue or when you just want to emote. You can dialogue with emotions, an addiction, a person (either living or deceased), pain, a body part, your inner critic or any number of things. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. Allow yourself to be taken by the process and remain open to what may be revealed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)