What keeps me getting up early on dark, Monday mornings week after week?
Sometimes that's a hard question to answer. At other times its easy… Something to look forward to! I've learned to "trick" myself with little treats during the day, week, month or year. It can be as simple as a phone conversation with someone special or as complex as a trip to a fun theme park. I've discovered that I need something to look forward to daily… and usually it's not something that’s good for me like my workout at the gym or a healthy meal. What's up with that?
What will you look forward to everyday this week?
What will you plan as a special treat at the end of the week?
Is there something you can arrange in February that will nourish and refresh you?
What have you always wanted to do but have not had enough time/money/courage? (fill in the blank) Start planning it now!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Discoveries
I'm birthing a new tradition this week.... Discoveries.
I was telling a client recently that I learn things about myself everyday. I learn through my work, through my friends, through my mentors, through my clients, through my son, through my love, through my dreams and even through strangers.
I believe that learning helps us make different choices.
Here's what I discovered (or rediscovered) this week:
- I survived the week.
- Detachment is super important.
- When I take things personally my life is a lot harder.
- I'll survive next week.
- I'd rather thrive than survive next week.
- Shoveling snow is a good upper body work out!
- Assumptions suck!
What did you discover this week?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Dialogue with Your Inner Wisdom
I often tell my clients that all the answers to every question they may ever have reside within them. This belief informs my work. I believe there is a wise presence within each of us and is available in any moment for guidance and direction. I ask my clients to look to this “knowing” when they set an intention every day. I don’t believe that a resolution must occur only once a year. In fact I think that’s a recipe for failure. So, in creating an intention we have the opportunity to look at our choices every day. Each morning is a new beginning, every second an occasion to make a new choice. I recommend that my clients confer with the “wise self” when creating small intentions and larger ones. One technique that is very helpful in this process is written dialogue. The method involves a simple conversation back and forth with this deeper intelligence. I recommend a certain technique when you are new to this process.
- Use large sheets of unlined paper.
- Choose two markers of different colors.
- If you are right handed you speak from that hand. If you are left handed you speak from that hand. This is called your “dominant” hand and it takes on the voice of “me.”
- Your “non-dominant” hand will hold the second marker and will be the voice of inner knowing.
- With a marker in each hand write your dialogue.
A part of a typical dialogue might look like this:
Me – Hey, I’m having a hard time setting my intentions every day.
Inner Wisdom – Well, you have some other stuff to get off your mind first.
M – I do? What is that?
IW – Is your house “in order” so to speak?
M – What do you mean by that?
IW – It just seems that all the clutter in your office is distracting you. Why not clean up your office?
M – Hmmm… good point. I can’t sit down at my desk without thinking of all the things I need to do.
IW – Do just one task. Clean off your desk and see if that helps you focus on your daily goals.
Of course this is just one small part of what a larger dialogue might look like. If you can keep going through several pages of dialogue you may find yourself dropping out of a logical place and into a feeling place. This is often where the most interesting things may be discovered. In the above dialogue the writer may continue and find that she has some unresolved feelings. Her “Inner Wisdom” may tell her how to move through the blocks. In my work with my clients there is most always some insight that arises through the dialogue. Dialogues are good when you feel confused about a situation or when you need to go deeper into an issue or when you just want to emote. You can dialogue with emotions, an addiction, a person (either living or deceased), pain, a body part, your inner critic or any number of things. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. Allow yourself to be taken by the process and remain open to what may be revealed.
- Use large sheets of unlined paper.
- Choose two markers of different colors.
- If you are right handed you speak from that hand. If you are left handed you speak from that hand. This is called your “dominant” hand and it takes on the voice of “me.”
- Your “non-dominant” hand will hold the second marker and will be the voice of inner knowing.
- With a marker in each hand write your dialogue.
A part of a typical dialogue might look like this:
Me – Hey, I’m having a hard time setting my intentions every day.
Inner Wisdom – Well, you have some other stuff to get off your mind first.
M – I do? What is that?
IW – Is your house “in order” so to speak?
M – What do you mean by that?
IW – It just seems that all the clutter in your office is distracting you. Why not clean up your office?
M – Hmmm… good point. I can’t sit down at my desk without thinking of all the things I need to do.
IW – Do just one task. Clean off your desk and see if that helps you focus on your daily goals.
Of course this is just one small part of what a larger dialogue might look like. If you can keep going through several pages of dialogue you may find yourself dropping out of a logical place and into a feeling place. This is often where the most interesting things may be discovered. In the above dialogue the writer may continue and find that she has some unresolved feelings. Her “Inner Wisdom” may tell her how to move through the blocks. In my work with my clients there is most always some insight that arises through the dialogue. Dialogues are good when you feel confused about a situation or when you need to go deeper into an issue or when you just want to emote. You can dialogue with emotions, an addiction, a person (either living or deceased), pain, a body part, your inner critic or any number of things. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. Allow yourself to be taken by the process and remain open to what may be revealed.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Alone or All One
“I’ve never really been alone.”
The words escaped her lips in a thin wisp like perhaps she didn’t really want to own the sentence.
“What would happen if you were alone?” I asked.
She looked at me with disbelief spreading over her face.
“I would be sad!” she immediately responded.
“And if you were sad?” I queried.
She was catching on to what I was doing.
“If I were sad I might lie on the floor and cry all day.”
“And what if you cried on the floor all day?”
She looked thoughtfully after this last question.
“I have never really allowed myself to cry for more than a few minutes. I’ve always wiped away the tears as soon as they appeared.” She took another moment to gather her thoughts.
“I’ve never really even just sat with myself.” She shook her head in disbelief.
I could see the lights turning on in her head. Perhaps she wasn’t ready to be by herself yet but she was starting to see how she had lost herself in all the relationships. She had run from the question, “Who Am I?” for years. Now she was slowing down and turning to look behind her. The lost selves waved from the path she had fled from.
I suggested she ask those parts of herself lost on the side of the trail who they are. Start a dialogue with each of them. Ask the same question, “Who are you?”
What matters?
What do I care about?
What will I no longer tolerate?
What must I bring into my life immediately?
What do I believe in?
What brings me joy?
What feeds me?
What sucks me dry?
Who am I?
The words escaped her lips in a thin wisp like perhaps she didn’t really want to own the sentence.
“What would happen if you were alone?” I asked.
She looked at me with disbelief spreading over her face.
“I would be sad!” she immediately responded.
“And if you were sad?” I queried.
She was catching on to what I was doing.
“If I were sad I might lie on the floor and cry all day.”
“And what if you cried on the floor all day?”
She looked thoughtfully after this last question.
“I have never really allowed myself to cry for more than a few minutes. I’ve always wiped away the tears as soon as they appeared.” She took another moment to gather her thoughts.
“I’ve never really even just sat with myself.” She shook her head in disbelief.
I could see the lights turning on in her head. Perhaps she wasn’t ready to be by herself yet but she was starting to see how she had lost herself in all the relationships. She had run from the question, “Who Am I?” for years. Now she was slowing down and turning to look behind her. The lost selves waved from the path she had fled from.
I suggested she ask those parts of herself lost on the side of the trail who they are. Start a dialogue with each of them. Ask the same question, “Who are you?”
What matters?
What do I care about?
What will I no longer tolerate?
What must I bring into my life immediately?
What do I believe in?
What brings me joy?
What feeds me?
What sucks me dry?
Who am I?
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